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No matter how prepared you may have been, when someone you love dies, there is almost always something you regret or wish you could change.

Maybe it was something you did, or said, or didn’t do, or say, before they left.


One way we can take care of ourselves—especially while grieving—is to look at unresolved issues and emotions, and then process them so that we don’t carry them into the future. All of your emotions — no matter how negative they feel — are useful indicators that are trying to help by revealing something you may not readily see or identify because of your grief.


This Thread of Regret tool is designed to help you see how your emotions can bury themselves deep within other emotions. Two effective ways of unraveling a feeling—like regret—is to step back and try to detach from it so that you can see it from a different angle. This is observation. From that point of view, you can more easily come to an understanding of the emotion, which can lead to acceptance.

An essential ingredient to allowing this tool to really help get you heal is to be honest and open. Begin by thinking of a regret you have, be it about your loved one or around a doctor or someone associated with your loved one.


Regardless of your belief system, see if you can imagine your loved one supporting you through all of this, from where they are now—in a place of infinite love and peace.


• Identifying regrets, processing and releasing them.



• Can I follow the thread of this regret far enough to understand and release it?

• What emotions do I feel around that regret? (anger, sadness, shame…)

• Can I imagine my loved one continuing to support me?

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