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One of the most supportive things, as you experience your varied emotions, is to simply observe what you are feeling instead of judging those emotions.

Why is this important? Because, during a time when you feel completely out-of-control, if you can allow yourself to just feel whatever is coming to the forefront, and then just observe it, maybe, just maybe, that emotion can be the one thing in the moment that is allowed to be ‘okay’.


In this tool, the circle in the middle is a situation you have a lot of upset or emotion around. It can be an overwhelming emotion, or a reaction you had to an unfeeling comment. The bursts that surround your issue are the judgments you have about yourself or other person(s) involved.

Here’s an example: "Someone commented that my child 'must be in a better place.' I got really mad and yelled at them. I put that situation in the center of the circle. I want to be honest with myself about what judgments I have, so I might have one burst that says, I have a judgment that the comment is cruel, insensitive and hurtful. Another burst is for the  judgment about myself that I can't control my temper. It doesn’t matter whether the judgments are real, right, wrong or even make sense. But, they REALLY affect your life and so you want to get to a place of feeling better and hopefully—eventually—get to a place of forgiveness for your own benefit.


• Being able to observe yourself without judgment and accept that you're okay.

• Accepting that your emotions are just feelings you are having in the moment.



• Can I accept and be okay with the emotions that I have right now?

Can I look at a situation as neither good or bad, but just as an indicator of where I am?

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