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One way to implement Self-Care into your life and make sure your grief doesn't take you down the Rabbit Hole is to use our tool Think, Shift, Release.

The first piece of the tool is THINK. Thinking constructively . . . which basically means focusing on a possible solution or identifying what you need to feel better . . .  or focusing on a better-feeling thought. The key to choosing a better-feeling thought that really feels better is that it must be true. Trying to kid yourself with positive self-talk you don’t truly believe, will actually make you feel worse.

The second element is SHIFT. Shifting is about giving yourself permission to change the subject and distract yourself with something that allows you to feel a little better. Oftentimes music is an instant mood shifter for people, or it could be exercise, a good book, lovely photos, or watching a movie.

The last piece is RELEASE. Like it sounds, releasing is letting go. While you might not know how to let go of thoughts, beliefs, emotions or behaviors that aren’t serving you, it is possible to experience how it would FEEL to do that. Allowing yourself to release doesn’t change the loss or the feelings, but it does allow you to experience the sensation, or even a momentary relief from your mind and heart.

This tool is not meant to eliminate your grief, stress, or the issue at hand, but to give you a small break and help train your brain into trying on a new thought, instead of getting stuck in the old one.


• Learning new ways to think, reduce stress and calm anxiety.

• Replacing the energy used for worrying with concrete action steps to support yourself.



• What is something you find yourself thinking negatively about?

• Is there another way of looking at this that is still true but feels better?

If I could release an emotion, what might I replace it with?

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